It Started with an Old Couple at Church...

At church this morning I sat right behind this older couple. The woman started to feel light-headed during the sermon and lost her balance and had to sit back down. I fanned her for the rest of the mass, while her husband held onto her hand...the entire time. At one point, he hooked his arm around hers and would not let her go. He practically carried her to stand up...and hung onto her no matter how uncomfortable it was.

I fell in love with this couple then and there. I want that. Someone to hang on to. Regardless of the discomfort.

The priest talked about marriages today, and I actually paid attention. This is definitely one of the things I absolutely respect about Catholicism. Marriage truly is sacred...period. He said that when men claim they can look but they can't touch...that they're committing sins right then and there, for lusting for another woman other than their wife. And I couldn't help but agree more. Even if my guy friends have tried to convince me otherwise. And I'll admit, I was convinced for some time. And I know it's reality. That "boys will be boys." But how much are we willing to tolerate? I know I wouldn't want my future husband checking out other girls while I'm right there next to them. I know the root of it is insecurity, but right next to that insecurity is disrespect.

I don't really check out guys...so maybe that's the issue too. I have humble eyes...I don't really look around. Not when it comes to that stuff, at least. Maybe that's what makes me different. This same friend was also the same person who tried to make me check out other guys. That there's "something wrong with me" if I didn't. It doesn't really do anything for me. It doesn't really get any further than "Oh, yea. He's attractive." I get over it pretty fast. I find other things...like a good book, an old couple, burning candles...far more entertaining than a mere physical attraction for someone. I think it's overrated to be quite frank.

And now I'm thinking...maybe...just maybe, I should choose my friends more wisely. That no one should try to convince me to be any one else but who I am today. Because I am pretty happy with who I am today. And don't get me wrong, these people helped me get here...but this is as far as I'm going to let this go on for. I don't need to be molded into the ideal person you want me to be in this perfect world you've created. Not anymore.