I got scared. Nervous, really. To be alone, by myself, in a building full of all kinds of strangers. It was weird. I used to be able to do this without a problem. I used to be okay with walking into a bookstore or coffee shop and not feel alone. I used to look forward to doing it, and would love every minute of it. Why is it, that now, all of a sudden, did I feel so alone? So scared to do what I was never afraid to do in the past?
I wore a hat today. It's my unique way of disappearing from the world. No makeup, just a hat. So that no one would look at me. So no one would talk to me.
I missed you today. Just like any other day. Only today it was raining. I shouldn't be missing you. I can't keep missing you. I'm so sick and tired of missing you. But why is it, that the only solution I can find is...to forget you? To "Eternal Sunshine" every thought of you out of my spotfull mind.
This is gonna be hard. I knew it from the beginning. Even harder that it's no longer you that I'm fighting, but the thought of you, and mastering the ability to keep you out of my mind.
Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it.
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